Changes in trends over time

Change is inevitable, though sometimes even though we expect change, the change is still hard to comprehend.

Sitting here drinking my creamy pumpkin nutmeg tea, and watching The Dutchess (I like movies based on other time periods), I cannot help but be in awe at just how much we have changed since those times.

So very much has changed not just in fashion, but also in the way of life, of living, of how one is raised. I would say both for better and for worse.

To me it is a very sad thing that once upon a time (given various time periods and ranking in class) a woman was to learn many skills as she grew up; sewing, cooking, voice lessons, riding, languages, posture, etiquette, dancing, writing (in terms of how to write a proper letter, not just grammar) and more… and it seems more and more as time goes on that less of these things are taught.

Men usually were taught things like language, politics, etiquette, dueling, riding, hunting (recreational or survival), economics, public speaking (if noble or royal) sometimes they were also taught nautical means, such as navigation or astronomy, and in some cases war or military leadership.
A common man usually learned only the trade his father performed. Occasionally that was not the case, but rarely.

I can probably count off the top of my head just how many people I have met that can actually cook a proper meal with more than two food groups from scratch. I cannot possibly count how many people I know or have met that could not possibly boil water.

Sewing is even less, though I am fortunate enough to have met some talented spirits who know how to sew.

These things were necessary skills for life, for your future husband, for being accepted into society.

I am happy that people marry for love now rather than for the myriad of other reasons, usually involving wealth and ranking in class, as they used to. I won’t go into arranged marriages.

I am also happy that while women still have a hard time in the work place, being that we are still very much in transition into being equals, we actually have made so much progress and continue to do so.

I am, however, very sad to see so many women taking this for granted and not doing anything with their freedom.

I am sorry but I have a problem with someone who has no desire to learn any skill of use, who would rather eat out or use a microwave than ever learn to cook at least a handful of meals on their own, and cannot spell most words properly. Text speech is not really speech. It is fast, and helpful when one is in a very big hurry, but honestly  it just makes people sound uneducated. To me that is VERY unattractive.

I do not feel anyone is perfect, but I also think effort should be made. It is easier to forgive someone sounding dumb unintentionally, than it is when they do it on purpose, or make no effort to learn how. Spelling being a prime example here. 

I may not have been taught everything a young girl should learn based on previous time periods standards, but I am lucky enough to have been taught most of them. The ones I did not learn are on my list of things to learn. As you all may know that list is rather large and will take some time to go through with everything else I have on my plate, but I still feel they are important.

One of the things I learned growing up was good manners, proper etiquette, empathy, sympathy, to be polite, and how to be respectful (even if I was very stubborn at times)

I didn’t realize how *odd* of a thing this was for me to have these life skills until I was repeatedly asked if I had ever been raised in a military family…. As if there had to be some reason other than being raised properly for my reactions to certain situations, such as being good at empathy at my current customer service job. You would be amazed at how many people either do not care to give empathy or simply cannot grasp the concept as it was not explained to them growing up. For me it is second nature to provide it.

I am not saying there is anything wrong with the people who do not know how to provide empathy, or any of the skills I have mentioned, I just can’t understand how some of those have nearly become obsolete, when I feel some are still very much needed.

I can only imagine what it might be like 100 years from now. What direction society as a whole will take. What will become acceptable and what will not.

History and trends tend to repeat themselves.. I am sure we will just move into another version of our past as we have been doing for so many generations.
Things go out of style and back in style time and time again.

Things change yet we cling to the past, for better or worse. Now if only we could learn from our mistakes a little more.

I know my husband and I, whenever we do have children, will be raised the way we were… Which apparently can be considered old fashioned, but we both feel there are certain skills and knowledge a child must have before entering adulthood.

Yes, it might seem odd that my mother made me walk with a book on my head every day until my posture was perfect, but I got a lot of compliments on it all throughout the years… My posture is not what it used to be as of late.. I need to work on that, but when I walk into a room everyone knows it. That is not to sound pompous, or be self inflating, but to give credit to the simple lesson having made a big impact on how people perceive me. All the other lessons I learned added to this, but the way a person holds themselves speaks volumes about someone.

So yes, my future daughter will learn those same skills for how to be a proper lady, and my future son will learn how to be a proper gentleman.  Maybe it will not be completely by this time periods standards, but I feel this will give them more enriching experiences and open up more opportunities in life.
It certainly did for me….

Just wait, this will become popular at some point again.. Histories trends do repeat themselves, it is just a matter of when that cycle comes around.

Pagans and Poverty

Something I have noticed in general about the pagan culture has gotten me thinking today.

Have you ever noticed how many spells, rituals, and chants there are for money, bringing wealth (in the monetary sense), or otherwise filling your wallet; yet the pagan culture as a general whole, witches, wiccans, etc, are poor or just barely making it by?

I thought to myself why is that? Why out of all the cultures, religions, are pagans almost always short on cash, barely able to pay the bills, and scrambling to find a way to make it by?

This came up because I have been considering writing some short books for kindle. I was discussing with my husband about how much I love to write about witchy topics, yet I doubt they would sell as most pagans would go to a library rather than buy a kindle book for a few bucks. They just don’t always have it.

The realization, one which I have always known about but didn’t really think too hard on it until now kind of shook me.

So my husband and I started talking about why this might be.

I would like to note that my husband, while fully supporting and encouraging my beliefs as a witch, is not actually pagan.

**Please be forewarned that this is not meant to offend and does use a lot of generalizations to get a theory across. This does not apply to every pagan, but only  used as a generalization from what we personally have noticed and experienced.**

In general pagans tend to be more solitary in their practice. (When I say pagans I am referring more to witches, wiccans, and the like)
Even within a coven, covens do not always communicate with other covens on a regular basis, so I still count that as solitary as most covens are not overly large.

There are up sides and downsides to being solitary or in a coven. For this example they will be both one and the same.

When you are solitary, you get to connect with nature, your surroundings, and get all the benefits of doing things your own way.

I could go on and on about how wonderful this can be verses a mass religion type, partly because I can quite be anti-social myself, while other times I like a little social interaction, for the most part I am content being outside of large crowds.

Here is one major downside and part of a good reason why pagans tend to not end up better off money wise. Networking.

I will use Christians as an example, mostly because I was raised Christian originally so I have first hand experience for comparison.

Christians network like crazy. The smaller churches that do not network you will easily tell as they do not do as well as the ones that do.

Churches range in size but still tend to be larger than most covens. Covens in my experience range between 6 and 40 people I’d say, and even less than that show up for regular coven gatherings. Even if the coven breaks 150 people, nowhere near that many are usually active within the coven gatherings.

Christians on the other hand usually go to church, whether a true Christian or one that just goes for appearances does not matter, they go or are usually judged, feel guilty, etc for not going. For some it is highly looked down upon not to go to church unless you are quite ill or have a damn good reason not to.

So not only do you have a whole church full of people, who network with each other, you also should note that most churches communicate with other churches in the area, or even in other states across the nation.

They get involved, for better or worse, but the point is they DO communicate often. Not that pagans don’t communicate, but the way we socialize is a little different and tends to be at festivals, small gatherings, and not quite on the scale that Christians would. Even if we meet regularly, it is usually with the same small group.

Point being is that we miss out on a lot of opportunities we could get by being content to be alone and not network with each other.

Ever heard the saying that it isn’t about what your resume looks like, it is more about who you know when it comes to landing a good job or a great opportunity? Well, that is largely true when it comes to networking.

I was originally raised Christian, and while at times we had money, and other times we did not. We almost always had lots of great opportunities through church members, and help when we needed it from the churches themselves. I can honestly say that the times we did not have money was not for lack of opportunity, but more for poor choices of my parents, but that is a whole other topic.

Heck people were there to help, even if they were just there to teach you how they budget, how to write a resume, where to find good deals, anything was helpful and they were happy to help the community grow by sharing knowledge.

The point is there was always room for growth with the networking system we had.

While paganism is becoming more and more of a choice, and less judged, it is still judged a lot. I am sure part of our networking issues has to do with the fact that Christians have simply been doing it longer and been more open with their lifestyle than we have.


Another bad cycle I tend to see is what I would like to call “trailer park pagans” without being overly offensive, hear me out.

Poverty breeds poverty. Once you are in it, your mindset changes, and one rarely ever gets out of it simply because they become content. No matter how often they complain they wish things would change, they simply do not change, or put forth the amount of effort needed to change. In other words less effort appears to be a lot more than it really is when you feel tired often mentally.

Sometimes people who live in poverty situations tend to become pagan because of the solitary practice, the act of rebellion, the connection we have with living with less as pagans used to. The big difference of course being that pagans used to live with less because they did not need more…

Pagans were ‘Poor’ by monetary definitions because they got all they needed from the land and had no need to work outside of their own stewardships.  They were not poor in every other way. Poor only referred to money, and when money is not needed, and your needs are met, it is hard to see them as being in poverty.

Nowadays there are simply things we must pay for and it is almost impossible to live without some expense. Because of this our mindset has to change a little to evolve with the current times in the ways we must.

Now that is not to say that I don’t agree with simplistic living and getting back to our roots. I am creating an urban homestead for petes sake, though that does not mean that I am ok with barely getting by either. I would very much like to have a constant amount of savings in the bank that I could use when needed, and I know things need to be done to keep that there, or create that savings for that matter.  I am working hard to make that happen, and it will happen.

Now I am not saying that people are horrible trash if they live in a trailer. What I am saying is that once you move to an area that is filled with sorrow, guilt, regret, poverty, illness, sluggishness,  etc, that it is very hard to not have that energy pull your own down and drown you in it. A sinking ship if you will and misery does love company.

Sometimes people get out and end up right back in that situation. Most of the time though those people are just not wise with the way they spend their money. Fast food and spending sprees anytime they see a little extra, as if to reward themselves for that little extra they got.

I understand the need for having nice things or going out. I am not saying not to do those things. But seeing my parents, when times were tougher, going out and spending anything extra they got immediately on useless things… Rather than saving the money and making better use of it. That is how you get stuck.

You get so excited that you have $20 extra, $200 extra that is normally not there… and you decide to do something special because you can for once, and you feel you deserve to go out or get something you normally couldn’t have.

People who usually have a little extra at the end of the month do not think this way and tend to save more in the end. Because they save a little more each time they have a little more they end up being able to do more. I am not meaning they can do more spending, I mean they can make actual full lifestyle changes if they do things the right way. It is literally just another thought process and way of doing things.

Changing your lifestyle is a lot better than staying in a bad lifestyle and only having a nice thing every once in awhile. You want to actually like the life you live in.
I think it is very possible to change that. It is hard work, but if you do it right anything is possible.

I have changed a lot in my life and the way I think and do things. I still have a lot more to go, but it has greatly impacted the way I view my life. I have gotten so far ahead of where I thought I would be now. It is just proof that you can change your situation entirely and not just for the short term.

Another difference is mindset in general.
Now I am speaking in general terms for things we have both observed on a mass scale, so don’t take any of this as “fact” but more as our personal opinions and observations.

Christians tend to pray for help but also act… They are told to pray but that God will not do all the work for them, and if you do not do all you know to do, you are tying his hands. While God may want to help, he cannot if you do not also act on what you know.

So in addition to praying, they are also doing everything they can to fix situations.

Pagans, for reasons unknown, tend to think doing a spell or a ritual is both the prayer and the action. It is not.

The spell, ritual, chant, etc, is there to put your intentions out there. Yes, you can call things to you, but it is an aid, not a “all I have to do is this and it will fix my problem”
Do you really think that the Gods are going to help a lazy witch who only ever complains about their life? No. You will get help, but only through action, and not just the action of doing a spell, prayer, ritual… No, I mean if you want a damn job you do a spell to find the job that best suits you and your needs, and then you do a job search for as long as it takes to find that job.
A job is not just going to land itself on your lap because you spelled it to. That is not how spells work.

Spells work through intentions, will, action, willpower, motivation, ambition. Do you get my point here?

They are aids to help sway things in our favor. To help open doors that we may have missed, to turn one opportunity that might be good into an even better one. or just to help guide people to us. None of this will happen if we don’t actually do anything other than the ritual and then complain when nothing happens, or complain when we do not continue to act upon things.

Yes, it takes awhile to find a job, but spells and rituals do not always have a “expiration date” and we do not always know when things will happen. Just because we think they should happen now and they do not, does not mean we should give up. It means we need to keep trying and trust things should happen when it is the right time, even if you yourself think the right time should have been yesterday with all the crap that is going on in your life. Things happen for a reason, be it good or bad.

I just think pagans should be taking more initiative and come out of the broom closet and start networking with each other more than just a few online forums or small gatherings.

What does it say for our path if most of our people are barely living paycheck to paycheck yet we have all these money spells that appear to not work? Why on earth would anyone want to be pagan if what it seems to offer is poverty and spells that obviously are not working?

Money isn’t everything, but it DOES mean something when it comes to living in a time where you have to have money to survive.

By the way there are many very effective money spells. They only don’t work if you don’t actually use them correctly and then take action after. No you will not get rich from them, but they are quite helpful when needed.  The fact that most people complain they do not work is a testament to just how many people do not understand the process of a spell and the actions after it is cast.

I have always been one to think that you have to do what you need to do to get where you want to be, whatever that means for the situation presented. I think things could greatly improve in the pagan community if we changed the way we do a few things to better suit the communities needs.  Am I wrong?

Could it really hurt to take more physical action? Could it hurt to network and be a little more social while still being non-social as a lot of us are? You don’t have to be a social butterfly, but just actually get involved with more than just a few people.

No one is going to help the pagan community. We have to help ourselves. There is absolutely no reason why we cannot be a thriving community who helps to build each other up like more mass religions do.

That is not saying we are conforming to be like a mass religion, that is saying that we can evolve to better help the needs of our people and better the way of a pagan life.

Outside of GoddessFest, and private or open coven meetings, how many events are there that are pointed towards the pagan religion vs events and holiday gatherings for Christian religions? Mind you, we have more holidays and sacred days to celebrate.

I think it is time for us to come out of the shadows, the broom closet, and actually be more of a community. Yes, we may get hate thrown towards us, but really it does not matter. You can be hated for the choice in the shirt you wear, but you will still wear that shirt if you like it will you not? Religion is a personal choice. One choice in which others opinions should never matter. Stop being afraid of ridicule and connect.

Not all pagans are broke all the time. Every person can learn something as well as has something to teach, even if they do not realize it.


Here is a simple way to see it. Take the show Lost for an example. If someone decided to be greedy and wanted to go out and survive on his own, maybe he could do it, but he could not do everything he needed to do in a day to survive without breaking his back.
By working together, each person has their own job, their own skill set they can teach others, and by becoming a community they get a amazing amount of work done in a fraction of the time because they decided it was better for survival to work together than alone. This is no different than coming together as a community.

We do have community, just not quite to where it needs to be. We have a lot of catching up to do.

Tending to the garden

We all know gardening is both a joy and hard work. One thing that I have struggled with lately is getting my garden watered properly while I have been sick with a cold.
My husband will help me water it from time to time, but not always.

Since the hose burst, it has to be done by hand, which means many trips to the spigot. It is a bit harder on my body while I am not feeling well than using a hose would be. Being so close to the end of the season, I had decided not to buy a new hose until next year.

I am still watering my garden, just not as often as I would like. I had hoped the rainy days would continue but of course during this time the temperature decided to heat back up again.

I would have put wine bottles into the ground but the water would have dried up within a day I am sure, and I would not have been able to refill them so easily without the bottom being cut off. Usually it is a battle of spraying the dirt out of the neck before refilling. Seems like more of a hassle to refill bottles that are not cut, than watering the garden by hand.

Sadly I do not have a self watering system in place for my current garden, but I do hope to implement one next year if possible. Doing so with a larger garden would make things a lot easier. Even if only part of it  is self watering through watering wells, pots, etc, it would help take off the load.

I have a sprinkler system in my back yard, though it does not reach the slope. I do not see a drip system being possible for next years plans so I am coming up with other ideas like wicking beds and such.

Some of the tomato plants look a little wilted but are otherwise fine. I see a little acorn squash growing, though no others for pumpkin or butternut yet. The zucchinis are doing great. Most of the beets are growing wonderfully. Peas/beans are flowering.
All in all my garden is doing just fine despite lack of the proper watering.

I have still been able to water my indoor plants. My ginger is really taking off. Lettuce seems a bit hard to grow indoors. I wonder if the temperatures fluctuate too much for the little lettuce heads. Either the heads die off or start to bolt. I think it just gets too warm and our AC unit has problems keeping the place cool even with the fans going.

Watercress has died off but I do believe I was able to get a few seeds that will hopefully germinate later.

I started a mushroom growing experiment. I took the stems of two types of mushrooms, button and the brown topped ones I can never remember the names of, and put them in some moist soil. I have them in my crafting room on the windowsill in 2 liter plastic bottles with a big hole in them.

They appear to be decomposing, which I am not sure if that is part of the re-growing process or if this is a failed experiment. I read somewhere that you could grow them that way but I am not so sure as of yet.
I wanted to try growing shiitake mushrooms but those are hard wood mushrooms I believe, which means they grow on decomposing logs, not in soil.

In any rate if it does not work I will most likely get a mushroom growing kit in the future.

As for the outdoor garden area, I will give it lots of love via coffee, tea, and other yummy things as a thanks for their patience with me while I am ill. I have already put a little coffee out there for the squash.

Whenever I make coffee I make just a little extra that goes into a cup that I put into my garden later. I also save the grounds as well as you already know.

Thankfully even with as bad as I have felt with this cold, I can tell it will not last as long as others have. A testament to what good herbal remedies can do for ones body.